Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Hey old man, how’s tricks?  You still got those poor over worked reindeer pulling your rather sizable ass about over the snow?  Yeah, though so!  I’m seriously considering reporting you to the RSPCA this year if you don’t improve your act, there really is no need for it, why don’t you just buy yourself a truck; it would be far more practical and kinder to the reindeer, I’m strongly against animal cruelty and you my friend are seriously pushing it here.  

Anywho, I know we got off to a bad start there but some things just really have to be said.  Although on that note, why is it that you think that it’s ok to employ little people to do all your dirty work for you, you’ve got an old fashioned sweat shop going on up there in the North Pole don’t you!  How much do these people get paid?  Are their working hours in line with government guidelines?  Are they treated fairly?  I’m sure you’re starting to get a bit hot under the collar with all these accusations, but I’m just interested in this so called ‘work-shop’ you have going on up there.

Sorry about that, lets hope you haven’t taken too much offense and instead can still bring me exactly what I want this year.  I have already asked my boyfriend/sister/parents for what I want but there is some stuff I’d still love to have but am just not cheeky enough to ask for as it would cost an absolute fortune.  Now, I don’t want this perceived as blackmail under any means, but if you, my red suited little friend, do not deliver all that is on this list on Christmas eve then I am reporting you to the authorities.  Like I said, it’s not blackmail, just think of it as a bit of gentle persuasion if you will.

So, here’s what I’m asking for:

1. She and Him Volume Two Vinyl / 2. Amy Winehouse Back to Black Vinyl  / 3. River Island Over Sized Coat / 4. Topshop Navy Pleat Skirt / 5. Vivienne Westwood Watch / 6. Real Techniques Core Collection / 7. Lush Lip Scrub / 8. Topshop Tassle Boot / 9. Miss Selfridge Collar Dress / 
10. Rabbit Night Light / 11.  Matalan Tartan Pencil Skirt / 12. Jenny Colgan Book / 13. Dressing Table / 14. Cable Knit Jumper / 15. Haggard Library Sweet Rabbit Print

On the whole I think I've been very reasonable here.

Be sure to deliver these by truck as suggested as I will not be amused if I find reindeer prints in the snow outside!

Cheers,